I lost my grandpa in November 2022. He was very dear to me, and I often cherish the memories I have of him. My grandparents practically raised me when I was a toddler — from my birth until I turned three. Yet, my only recollection of those years is through the countless photo albums curated by my dad.
I used to visit my grandparents’ house in Vijayawada during almost every summer break of my childhood, and that’s when I treasured some of the best memories with them. They pampered me with love, spoiled me with food, taught me countless virtues, and offered me a window to witness a wonderful couple enjoying their years of retirement.
Outside of my parents, my grandpa was the biggest contributor to my personality. Through his words, actions, and conduct, he unknowingly taught me many life lessons — some of which I would love to share with you here.
1. Be punctual
If the train was scheduled to arrive at 8 PM, he would be at the station by 7:45 PM to pick us up. If we had an event at 10 AM, he would be ready to leave by 9:45 AM. I imagine he respected others’ time too much to ever be late. Even if he was ready and others in the house were still preparing, he never grew impatient or restless. And even if we arrived late due to someone else’s delay, he would apologize to the host on everyone’s behalf. He wanted to hold himself to a high standard of punctuality but never forced others to follow him; he simply set an example that was impossible to ignore.
2. Stay well-groomed
Whether he worked or was retired, he never skipped his daily grooming ritual. Every morning, he would brush his teeth, shave his beard, trim his moustache, check his nostril hair, and only then take a hot-water shower. He would moisturize his face with a special Kashmir Snow face cream and apply talcum powder to beat the humidity. His oral hygiene was impeccable. His body odor, absolutely unnoticeable. His hair, well-maintained and combed. He would wear fragrance when stepping out for special events and occasions, but if he stayed at home, he was content with applying his Old Spice aftershave. When I was a child observing Grandpa, I sometimes wondered if he was overdoing his grooming or too focused on his appearance. But looking back now, I realize he never tried to look younger than his age — he never dyed his hair or used products to conceal it. He simply made himself presentable, that’s all. Whatever phase of life he was in, he accepted it gracefully and tried his best to look his best in it.
3. Dress with dignity
If Grandpa walked into a room, people would turn their heads to see what he was wearing. Smoothly pressed, tailored-fit dark-tone cotton pants; a contrasting light-colored, tucked-in button-down shirt; a wristwatch with a stainless-steel band; a pair of cross-strapped dark brown leather sandals; and a dark-brown waist belt. Nothing fancy. Nothing that looked out of place or time. Simple, yet elegant. In my childhood, I thought Grandpa was trying to impress others with his outfits. But now I understand — he never wanted to impress anyone. He just respected himself too much to dress poorly for any occasion. Whether he wore an off-white polo shirt for his morning walks and errands, dressed formally for outings, or sported a tailored Safari suit for special occasions, Grandpa was the first person I knew who commanded people’s respect through the dignity of his appearance.
4. Stay curious
Grandpa was one of the most curious people I’ve ever known. He took a genuine interest in conversing with people, asking how they were doing, and responding in a courteous manner. He asked questions to deepen his knowledge on any subject. Every morning, he read the Eenadu Telugu daily without fail, leaving no page unturned. By 11 AM, he would be up to date on local news, state politics, national events, international affairs, sports analysis, and cinema gossip. He would browse through Facebook posts and read interesting articles online. Grandma didn’t care much for news, but whenever I was around, he would hand me a folded section of the newspaper, encouraging me to read it in case I might find it useful. He would bring up many topics for discussion with me and always had an open mind to hear my perspective. He may not have been the most informed person in the room, but he was certainly the most curious.
5. Be disciplined
At an age when I didn’t even know what ‘military discipline’ meant, Grandpa showed me what it looked like. Here’s how his day unfolded:
He would wake up at 4:30 AM and start his morning cleansing rituals. By 5:30 AM, he would have his first coffee and be ready to step out for his morning walk in a collared T-shirt and cotton trousers. He would return from the walk by 6:30 AM, bringing home any essentials that Grandma asked him to fetch along the way — vegetables, milk packets, or the occasional errand. By 7:30 AM, he would have completed his grooming rituals, taken a shower, and draped himself in a white dhoti and uttareeyam to perform the puja. By 8:30 AM, he would have completed the puja, changed into something comfortable — usually a cotton pancha and a cotton sleeved-vest — and started digging into the newspaper while slurping his second coffee.
By 9 AM, he would help Grandma serve breakfast for us — four petal-soft idlis, adorned with melted ghee, served with karam podi and fresh lentil chutney. After breakfast, he would alternate between TV, newspaper, and Facebook for his infotainment, work on his laptop for special projects, or assist Grandma in the kitchen. Lunch came at 1 PM — steamed white rice, a curry, dal or sambar, yogurt, accompanied by a pickle or the occasional seasonal mango. He would take an afternoon nap at 2 PM and wake at 4 PM to help Grandma prepare the evening tea. If he had any appointments or errands, he would step out after 5 PM, when the day cooled down. Dinner was at 8:30 PM — three chapatis with curry or other South Indian tiffins — followed by the 9 PM ETV Telugu news, and he would be in bed by 10 PM.
Although he was consistent with his habits and timings day in and day out, it never felt mundane, nor did he ever appear bored by it. He never made it seem like he was merely following a schedule; all his actions were mindful and done with purpose. Discipline, I realized, was what powered all his other superpowers.
6. Listen more, talk less
One of the qualities that my grandpa exemplified is to be the first person to listen and be the last one to speak. I think that’s how he managed to stay curious all his life. His curiosity wasn’t loud; it was quiet, steady, and humble. He listened to stories from people younger than him, older than him, and everyone in between. He treated silence not as an awkward gap but as space for others to open up. In a world where everyone tries to win conversations, he didn’t try to win anything. He tried to understand. He picked up emotions faster than words. A pause, a sigh, a hesitation — he caught the little things that others missed. People instinctively trusted him because they knew he wouldn’t interrupt, judge, criticize, or jump in with solutions before understanding the problem. I remember sitting beside him during family discussions. He would sit quietly in his recliner chair, hands placed over his belly, head slightly tilted — fully present — and then offer a sentence or two that settled the whole matter.
7. Have a sense of humor
Although he talked less, he was by no means an introvert. During family events, he would walk into a room filled with relatives and friends and leave a lasting impression with his humor, wit, and big, genuine smile. He had a gentle way of teasing people — never hurtful, always affectionate. If someone visited his home after a long time, he would grin and say, ‘Ah, did you take a wrong turn somewhere and end up coming here?’ and everyone would burst into laughter. While watching a funny scene in a movie or TV show, Grandpa would have the loudest laughter in the room. He loved playing with kids — especially toddlers — and wouldn’t hesitate for a second to make silly gestures to amuse them. For a man who possessed heavy virtues, his demeanor was remarkably light-hearted.
8. Be passionate
Being passionate about a craft or a calling comes easily when you’re young and in the pink of health. But Grandpa showed us that you can be equally passionate even in your seventies.
Owing to his interest in politics and community building, he was active in the Indian Railways employee union in Vijayawada and often volunteered for union events during his working years and after retirement. Soon after retiring, he joined the Lok Satta political movement as a volunteer, spreading awareness about electoral malpractices and encouraging voter registration in local neighborhoods. Grandpa never owned a motorcycle or a car, so he either walked or used public transport and auto-rickshaws to get around the city — even in the scorching midday heat.
When old age caught up with him, he stepped back from these physically demanding volunteering gigs and started pursuing interesting at-home projects, like typesetting. He had a collection of old, hand-written manuscripts — home remedies, Ayurvedic preparations, recipes, and more — that he was passionate about digitizing. He learned typesetting in Telugu from friends in his network, installed the necessary software and fonts on his old laptop, and spent hours typing to give those manuscripts a permanent home. Occasionally, he would involve me in the project by giving me small assignments, with the intention of keeping me connected to my mother tongue, Telugu.
Grandpa was also an occasional poet, with his works published in Railway journals. He was an avid reader of Telugu literature and scriptures and had excellent penmanship. Remarkably tech-savvy for his day, he curated playlists of old Telugu songs, edited family pictures on his laptop, and stayed in touch with friends and family via Facebook and WhatsApp. His passion for life reflected even in the simplest of his habitual actions, and it was impossible not to be inspired by it.
9. Mind your tongue
Grandpa always believed that words carry weight — they can heal, inspire, or wound. He chose his carefully, aware of their power. Even in moments of disagreement, he would pause before speaking, thinking not just about what he wanted to say, but how it would affect the other person. Harsh words were foreign to him; gentle truth, patience, and encouragement were his tools. I remember countless times when his calm, measured response defused a tense situation instantly. In a world where people often speak before thinking, Grandpa taught me that sometimes the most profound wisdom lies in restraint — in knowing when to speak, and when to stay silent.
10. Spread love
Will you believe me if I say that I’ve never seen my grandpa emit even a shred of negative emotion — anger, envy, fear, frustration, or disappointment — towards anyone? Neither to their face, nor behind their back. Sure, he and my grandma would occasionally slip into friendly couple-fights, during which he stayed grave for a moment. But beyond that, he was always a humble messenger of love and a quiet, positive force in everyone’s life. There was an undeniable peace in his presence. His love was felt through his actions too, not just his words.
Lastly…
I wrote this post as I remember all my Grandpa’s virtues and feel profoundly grateful for the values he instilled in me during my childhood. The only way I can ever hope to honor him is by thanking him for everything he did for me. This post is my humble token of gratitude and a tribute to my grandpa. If you happened to know him, I hope these words bring back fond memories. And if you didn’t, I hope his life lessons offer you something meaningful as you navigate your own journey. Feel free to download the infographic below that highlights the ten life lessons I’ve shared in this post. Cheers!
